Raising a child is already a hard, rewarding thing. But when you add raising a child or children to being single for whatever reason, it is even harder. I think being a single mom to a boy, especially an older boy is very challenging at time and it can be difficult to find balance and to find methods of parenting that work effectively.
Chores are a part of most children’s lives. In our house, we have started calling them responsibilities. Our responsibility chart is broken down into 4 sections.
Daily Duties or “Dailies”
These are responsibilities on my son’s chart that he is required to do on a daily basis. These are not paid items. I explained to him that I had a responsibility to clean our home, fix our meals, and do our laundry and no paid me to do these things. They were my responsibilities to do regardless. I explained to him that a young man, there are things that he is responsible for and would not be paid for them. My explanation of my responsibilities helped him understand why he is not paid for his dailies.
These are his mandatory, paid chores. These are not optional and they have to been completed. I explained to him that these are like jobs that you get when you go to work. You may not always want to do it or even feel like doing it, but it is your job and you have to do things you don’t like sometimes.
Do More, Get More
These are optional chores that he can do to get an allowance bonus. Again I explained to him that there are opportunities in life to get rewarded for doing more or doing a good job.
This is our newest method of parenting/discipline. Whenever we do something wrong in life, there is always a consequence. I told Nathan if I decide to speed or blow through a stop sign, I will be pulled over an given a fine. I explained to him that being ugly, disrespectful, or “bad” will not be tolerated and there will be a consequence for it. Normally in the past, he would be grounded, time out, or even in some cases a good, old fashioned paddling (like I use to get). But, I have noticed with him getting older, these methods aren’t as effective in some cases as they use to be. So, I figured if he is earning money and then he is fined and loses some of it because he makes a bad choice, he will probably decide that it’s not worth it.
We are only a couple of days into the new chart and parenting method, but I will say that when he finished yesterday his room was the cleanest it’s been in a long time! One of the rules of our new chart, is that I will NOT remind him of his responsibilities. One of the items he can be fined for is not doing his responsibilities. I told him that he is becoming a young man and needs to learn to take initiative and responsibility for himself.
I am very proud at how well he understood our conversation and how excited he is to do it! I will report in a few weeks our progress!
I have 4 printables for you. A boy and girl chart prefilled and a boy and girl chart that is blank.